I just happened to visit a friend’s blog after a few months, and the entry was about my relationship with khan.
I felt biting chills down my back. Then out of nowhere i started crying with all my might and main.
I've never really experienced how difficult it is reading things about yourself, especially if it’s a negative view on you. It’s more difficult when it is unexpected. Pardon me, It’s been a rough night.

Fact is, Dawyne's right.
I am selfish. And no, i'm not proud of it. It is true that I don’t ever want someone else to be with Khan. I want to be that girl. But yet I’m the one who wanted out of the relationship. On the other hand, I could never bring myself to sever the ties so I don’t hurt him further. I love you Khan, and though objectively I think you should move on, I have not been helping you do it. God knows I try. But maybe Dawyne’s perspective was a wake-up call for me to try harder. I just want to let you know that whilst I’m normally the spiteful, vindictive person. When it comes to you, I would never intentionally want to make use of you, play with your feelings or hurt you. It is clear to me that if it’s anyone who is not blood related to me, who truly has my well-being in mind it would be you. I know your friends are looking out for you, and that's a blessing from God. I thank you for trying to defend my honour from what he says even when we're not together. You're truly a gentlemen. I honestly think i don't deserve it. But thank you. That is probably why friends are so important in supporting people through a breakup. Please don't worry about me. My friends and family will be here for me. i guess it is really not possible for couples to become friends right after their breakup. There must be a time to regroup and gain perspective in their lives. Most importantly, letting time heal any wounds or let those special memories fade a little, so that they lose some of its sting. We just have to hang on to the hope that one day, life will have the zest and be beautiful again.

i look forward to the day that we can truly be friends again. Just like in polytechnic. When i found you then, i felt like the luckiest girl in the world. i sincerely wish you love, happiness but mostly to be touched by the love of God. I will still always be devoted to saving your soul, and in most parts devoted to you. Ours was an epic love story. And i've always been terrified of the sappy lovey dovey crap, ours was the epitome the lovey dovey crap. And i loved you, i love us and i loved our crap. i treasure our memories, but i treasure you more as an individual. Look, i can't promise you that i'll like your future girlfriend nor stand your endless chatter about how perfect she is, but i sure as hell know as a friend i'll try. Forgive me for all the wrongs i've done against you. The times i lashed out at you, pushed you away and yet came back crying back to you. I'm so hopeless at being a lady. yet you always treated me like one. I will always always remember of you fondly. I want to tell you that I love you, hiff and your parents very much. And i will always be here for you all and looking out for you in the future. A loyal family friend.

Let’s just do this okay? Embrace it, don’t reject it anymore. Please tell your parents so that this breakup is legitimized. I have told mine, so that they can remind me about my decision in my times of weakness.
I let you go.


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i can't do this anymore.
i'm done with this blogsite.
goodnite and goobye.