pitter patter on my sill
Tonight I couldn’t get to sleep.
Maybe it was all that CSI I was watching the whole day that freaked me a little. Perhaps a tad more than a little. I cancelled my jog with myself coz it was dark. Had thoughts of some creepy maniac lying in wait for an unsuspecting jogger. Or maybe i was just lazy and wanted an excuse. Then again, it's undeniable… I have one of the most active imaginations in the repertoire of people I know. Well, Back on the issue of me not being able to sleep…. I think it might have also been coz of how I slept most of the day away. I should never attempt to do the above again. It makes me too damn awake at night. I'm so awake i could perform surgery even tho i've got no medical training. Well, suffice to say nights are tough. It gets awful lonely sometimes.
It must have been quite chronic coz I actually picked up my handphone and looked through my contact list. I must have scrolled through it like what…3 times? But I still decided against calling anyone. Coz sometimes I guess talk is just mere talk. It's not as if i'm gonna pour my sorrows onto any poor soul who doesnt give a hoot anyways. Plus talking doesn’t do shit to fill the void. Then I realized there was only one person that I would really wanna talk to.
At moment we are at a place where we share mostly silences. Just now when I let myself think of the day he really starts fresh with someone new; I find it hard to breathe. Then I start to command my mind to rationalize. Still couldn’t help crying. Crap, and it had to rain and all tonight, me sitting at home bawling in the middle of the night. It’s just too pathetic a scene. To think I thawed out.
I guess I have a heart after all.
Maybe it was all that CSI I was watching the whole day that freaked me a little. Perhaps a tad more than a little. I cancelled my jog with myself coz it was dark. Had thoughts of some creepy maniac lying in wait for an unsuspecting jogger. Or maybe i was just lazy and wanted an excuse. Then again, it's undeniable… I have one of the most active imaginations in the repertoire of people I know. Well, Back on the issue of me not being able to sleep…. I think it might have also been coz of how I slept most of the day away. I should never attempt to do the above again. It makes me too damn awake at night. I'm so awake i could perform surgery even tho i've got no medical training. Well, suffice to say nights are tough. It gets awful lonely sometimes.
It must have been quite chronic coz I actually picked up my handphone and looked through my contact list. I must have scrolled through it like what…3 times? But I still decided against calling anyone. Coz sometimes I guess talk is just mere talk. It's not as if i'm gonna pour my sorrows onto any poor soul who doesnt give a hoot anyways. Plus talking doesn’t do shit to fill the void. Then I realized there was only one person that I would really wanna talk to.
At moment we are at a place where we share mostly silences. Just now when I let myself think of the day he really starts fresh with someone new; I find it hard to breathe. Then I start to command my mind to rationalize. Still couldn’t help crying. Crap, and it had to rain and all tonight, me sitting at home bawling in the middle of the night. It’s just too pathetic a scene. To think I thawed out.
I guess I have a heart after all.
posted by Petra at 6:07 PM
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